Posts Tagged ‘muse’

Just as a reminder, the “Retro Muse” is where I reflect on my past muses or thoughts. These older muses were in the form of group e-mails sent to family, friends and associates. The font in italics are the past writings and the regular font is my reflection on them.


“It’s a shame but the truth is, that many people in this world are cowards. Cowards because they fear situations that they think they can’t handle. I respect those that have heart. Those that look fear in the face and back slap the sh@t out of it. I have no respect for cowards. If you don’t like me, don’t go around in a circle and tell everyone else. If i’m the main source of your problem, then go straight to me. Go straight to the main source… What makes me real is the fact that i’m not a coward. What makes me real is that i’m honest. I call it how i see it. Whether you like it or not. It may sound cold, but we do live in a cold world. In my opinion, the truth needs to spoken in this world no matter what and we need more people with heart”

I believe we all have this problem in our lives whether personal or in the work environment. People say one thing in your face but another behind your back. There is nothing you can do unless you choose to confront this person. In this muse, I was simply venting. I am a strong believer in speaking your mind and confronting a person with whom you have a problem with. The difference between now and in 2006, is that I now believe in having a filter. There are ways to address a situation without being bluntly honest. Being blunt can be perceived as mean or rude. A filter is important while also ensuring that you are conveying the message about how you really feel.

“…This is love that every man yearns for. Love is a subject with many opinions. Many questions about love can go unanswered. Love is difficult to many because they question it and wonder what it is and how it is suppose to feel. Before anyone asks me how i know our love is real, all i have to say is that i just know. I know because of what i feel. It’s this feeling inside when you get anxious to see that person’s face. When you enjoy their company not only because of physical or intimate urges, but because you love to talk to that person. The communication is great. Conversations can vary from talking about love to talking about grooming. You connect physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally”

All I have to say about this is that nothing lasts forever. Love is very complicated. It has to stand the test of time and endure storms. Real love works on each other continuously to keep the relationship alive. Real love is hard work. Real love is also natural. All in all – Love is an enigma. One can only hope that what you have is love. Even if you do, it may not be long lasting. I still do believe in connecting physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. The extents of each level has changed. This I will address at a later date.

“I believe that in every relationship you have to meet in the middle. You both mutually love. You both mutually show your feelings. Everything is mutual to the best of both your abilities. To me a relationship is also a give and take; some sacrifices have to be taken”

I predicted my future here. 🙂 Love has to definitely be mutual and sacrifices must definitely be made. Understanding this means understanding the seriousness of a long term relationship. The idea of love being mutual sounds basic but it rarely is at a perfect balance. In my experience, someone always love the other more. One person always seems to be willing to make more sacrifices over the other.

“Being a father is one of the greatest titles i can have. I am proud to announce that my son is now walking on his own! Ya daamn right!! Unfortunately, my son is 2 hours away so i don’t see him as much as i would like. The situation is very difficult. My boy Julian. As he grows, i want to help mold him into a great man. I want him to learn from my mistakes and broaden his way of thinking in this journey called life. I want to be the best father i can be regardless of the situation; or the fact that i’m not with his mother, therefore, i don’t get to see him as much. He plays a big part of my determination to be a better man as well as a successful one”

This truth continues to deepen. My family and friends can vouch for the immense love I have for my boys. They drive me to be a better me and to succeed in every way possible. At this time, Julian was walking. Now he is 10, going on 11. A very smart, thoughtful and honest young man. I love who he is becoming. I could not ask for more. Our conversations are more mature and I can always count on him for a truthful perspective. I love you Julian aka Mr. Awesome Jr.

“Politics. Oil prices. Those damn oil prices are up and slowly increasing even higher. The high prices of gas is keeping me from buying my weekly Bacardi bottle. Whats good with that? I don’t think the oil prices will ever go lower then $2 again but they can go down. Some of the reason why oil prices are going up instead of down is having to do with our tension with Iran”

Here I gave my 2 cents on politics at the time as well as the state of oil prices. I read that $2 oil will be a thing of the past. The stock market is not the only thing with volatility. We now have oil back under $2! While other things don’t change – we still have tension with Iran! Finally, I no longer drink Bacardi. I now sip the Irish brew known as Jameson Irish Whiskey aka Jamo.

It’s always interesting to analyze the thoughts you have had in the past to see how or if they have changed. Seeing the evolution of your thinking and to ponder experiences help you understand yourself a little more. This helps on your journey to better yourself.

Truly yours,

Lito aka Mr. Awesome aka B Star

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Life's Lessons
At this point in my life, I was over a year out of the service and fully adapted to civilian life. My son Julian was almost a year old. And in the intro of this muse, I held the same message for one of the purposes of my muse: “Hopefully, it DOES entertain, teach, motivate, spark ideas, spark critics, awaken, or even have people correct or teach me by sharing their knowledge and experience”

Let’s take a look at my thoughts back then…

“My year started changing for the better when my son came into my life in March. He is now 9 months old and moody as hell. I look into his eyes and see that he has so much to give to the world and so much to take in. My job is to show him love and to teach him everything that i know about this journey called life. I want him to learn from my mistakes. I want him to be all that he can be…”

Julian is now 8. He is a smart young man. When you think he is not listening, he is. He then waits for the right time to ask questions based on what he heard. Simply put: he is a sponge. He obtains information and has an excellent memory. His memory is selective since he is a human after all. 🙂 When asked certain things, he can utter the famous phrase “I forgot”. But when you mention months ago an activity or place to go on this particular weekend, he will remind you instantly. Julian is very caring and patient. His personality is humble and genuine. I enjoy spending time with him and never get tired of his questions. My son is pure awesomeness.

“‘Death Before Dishonor’ is what my brother has tatted on this forearm. There are so many people in this world that are quick to dishonor another person. I guess it’s the easier route out of a situation in some cases. The values i grew up with in my family are the same i preach and practice when it comes to friends. It’s hard to entirely trust anyone, but honor and respect your friends and expect the same in return. Not everyone i know or talk to is a ‘friend’. To be labeled a ‘friend’ is something you have to earn. If you’re my friend or i’ve called you a friend, know that you can trust me. Know that i will be there”

I will never take it to the extreme and tatt ‘Death Before Dishonor’ on my body but honor is a rare characteristic. This is a cold world. A vast amount of people lie, cheat, and turn on you in the blink of an eye. When I was younger, I had many friends. This number has dwindled. As an adult, I’ve learned to be selective with friends. I keep few confidants but at least I’ll know they’ll have my back. Loyalty and Trust is very important to me. It’s not about quantity but quality.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After
marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.”

This was a funny quote I inserted back then. Crazy how truthful it came to be.

“Confusion plays a major role in everyones life. People go through certain emotional rollercoasters and don’t know what to think of it. Was it just a learning experience or was it a nightmare that should have never occurred? Some people search for something thats not there. Some people are confused about who they are and what is their purpose in life. I was confused about some things this year. I was confused about what to do and about relationships.”

I now believe that in one way or another, the struggles and obstacles in life are a learning experience. We will never be perfect or never say we “get it”. Life is a journey of continuous learning. We will all have moments where we are stuck and have to decipher your current situation. Sometimes you have to take a moment to reflect, re-energize and reformulate a plan to get back on track. Struggles are there for the strong to overcome. Live strong and look to better yourself at all times (in all aspects).

“Feel free to send me suggestions or topics to write about. I’ll let you know what replies i get if i post them on my muse.”

This still applies.

“Also, as a new request, i am requesting that everyone who receives this to forward the muse to those that you think might be interested.”

This still applies.

“Thank you to those that have read my muses this year and to those that have replied.”

Finally, this also applies. 🙂 I like to read comments. I will always encourage readers to do so. Whether you are complimenting, suggesting, disagreeing, etc. It’s good to hear your thoughts as well.

PabLito aka Lito aka Bubsy


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