Posts Tagged ‘love’

Just as a reminder, the “Retro Muse” is where I reflect on my past muses or thoughts. These older muses were in the form of group e-mails sent to family, friends and associates. The font in italics are the past writings and the regular font is my reflection on them.


“It’s a shame but the truth is, that many people in this world are cowards. Cowards because they fear situations that they think they can’t handle. I respect those that have heart. Those that look fear in the face and back slap the sh@t out of it. I have no respect for cowards. If you don’t like me, don’t go around in a circle and tell everyone else. If i’m the main source of your problem, then go straight to me. Go straight to the main source… What makes me real is the fact that i’m not a coward. What makes me real is that i’m honest. I call it how i see it. Whether you like it or not. It may sound cold, but we do live in a cold world. In my opinion, the truth needs to spoken in this world no matter what and we need more people with heart”

I believe we all have this problem in our lives whether personal or in the work environment. People say one thing in your face but another behind your back. There is nothing you can do unless you choose to confront this person. In this muse, I was simply venting. I am a strong believer in speaking your mind and confronting a person with whom you have a problem with. The difference between now and in 2006, is that I now believe in having a filter. There are ways to address a situation without being bluntly honest. Being blunt can be perceived as mean or rude. A filter is important while also ensuring that you are conveying the message about how you really feel.

“…This is love that every man yearns for. Love is a subject with many opinions. Many questions about love can go unanswered. Love is difficult to many because they question it and wonder what it is and how it is suppose to feel. Before anyone asks me how i know our love is real, all i have to say is that i just know. I know because of what i feel. It’s this feeling inside when you get anxious to see that person’s face. When you enjoy their company not only because of physical or intimate urges, but because you love to talk to that person. The communication is great. Conversations can vary from talking about love to talking about grooming. You connect physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally”

All I have to say about this is that nothing lasts forever. Love is very complicated. It has to stand the test of time and endure storms. Real love works on each other continuously to keep the relationship alive. Real love is hard work. Real love is also natural. All in all – Love is an enigma. One can only hope that what you have is love. Even if you do, it may not be long lasting. I still do believe in connecting physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. The extents of each level has changed. This I will address at a later date.

“I believe that in every relationship you have to meet in the middle. You both mutually love. You both mutually show your feelings. Everything is mutual to the best of both your abilities. To me a relationship is also a give and take; some sacrifices have to be taken”

I predicted my future here. 🙂 Love has to definitely be mutual and sacrifices must definitely be made. Understanding this means understanding the seriousness of a long term relationship. The idea of love being mutual sounds basic but it rarely is at a perfect balance. In my experience, someone always love the other more. One person always seems to be willing to make more sacrifices over the other.

“Being a father is one of the greatest titles i can have. I am proud to announce that my son is now walking on his own! Ya daamn right!! Unfortunately, my son is 2 hours away so i don’t see him as much as i would like. The situation is very difficult. My boy Julian. As he grows, i want to help mold him into a great man. I want him to learn from my mistakes and broaden his way of thinking in this journey called life. I want to be the best father i can be regardless of the situation; or the fact that i’m not with his mother, therefore, i don’t get to see him as much. He plays a big part of my determination to be a better man as well as a successful one”

This truth continues to deepen. My family and friends can vouch for the immense love I have for my boys. They drive me to be a better me and to succeed in every way possible. At this time, Julian was walking. Now he is 10, going on 11. A very smart, thoughtful and honest young man. I love who he is becoming. I could not ask for more. Our conversations are more mature and I can always count on him for a truthful perspective. I love you Julian aka Mr. Awesome Jr.

“Politics. Oil prices. Those damn oil prices are up and slowly increasing even higher. The high prices of gas is keeping me from buying my weekly Bacardi bottle. Whats good with that? I don’t think the oil prices will ever go lower then $2 again but they can go down. Some of the reason why oil prices are going up instead of down is having to do with our tension with Iran”

Here I gave my 2 cents on politics at the time as well as the state of oil prices. I read that $2 oil will be a thing of the past. The stock market is not the only thing with volatility. We now have oil back under $2! While other things don’t change – we still have tension with Iran! Finally, I no longer drink Bacardi. I now sip the Irish brew known as Jameson Irish Whiskey aka Jamo.

It’s always interesting to analyze the thoughts you have had in the past to see how or if they have changed. Seeing the evolution of your thinking and to ponder experiences help you understand yourself a little more. This helps on your journey to better yourself.

Truly yours,

Lito aka Mr. Awesome aka B Star

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The picture above is what most people believe in. The belief is that there is someone for everyone or the concept of having a “soul mate”. I do not agree nor understand this concept. There are couples that have been together 30 plus years and counting. Society admires and even find the visual of these couples endearing. Whenever I come across a couple that has been together for a quarter of a century, I always ask – how do you make it last. I get a variation of answers. The big three are: communication, “she is always right” and tolerance. The idea of “she is always right” equates to being a yes man with no opinion or say so. This is not me and I do not recommend it. It says that you are willing to diminish your values in order to make someone else happy. The only time I will abide by a similar policy is for my children. With my children, I will sacrifice my happiness for theirs in a blink of an eye.  I do believe in the other two – communication and tolerance. Communication is vital and tolerance is a part of understanding. This post is about recognizing the part of tolerance.

Tolerance can sound negative. To me, it is part of understanding and dealing with the truth in a relationship. It is being honest about certain aspects, personalities, hobbies, or habits with your partner and accepting them. Examples are warranted…

You tolerate the fact that your partner has a child with another.

You tolerate a vice or bad habit.

You can also tolerate a partner’s bad temper or mood swings.

We tolerate due to love or due to the positive qualities that make the relationship one worth being in. Whether it be the feeling of being cared for, loved, admired or even the sex – a relationship is worth it if the good outweigh the bad. This is why tolerance is important.

I believe that there is no such thing as the perfect puzzle piece to match yours. There is not a perfect person that you meet, marry and grow old with. There are always gaps that you must fill with glue (tolerance).


This picture displays the fit of most relationships. These are by far perfect pieces. The yellow represents the amount of glue (tolerance) that is needed to keep the relationship going. Some bad habits are too much or some personalities are too complex and do not mesh well. Many relationships are like these pieces in that so much is tolerated in order to keep the love going. We fear being alone and therefore, we learn to live with the situation.

It always takes more than love. It takes a median in tolerance and understanding the levels or values of each.


This picture shows a moderate amount of faults. It’s about finding the person that fits you the most, not the perfect fit. You use as little glue as possible. You understand each other’s demeanor and habits. You know that a bad temper can be tolerated or better yet – something that you learn how to ease. These pieces represent couples that know how to fix each other and make each other better. The tolerance becomes a game where goals are created and achieved. You help him or her overcome their bad habits or you succeed together versus underachieving in your professional careers.

Love and relationships are the most complicated topics in life. All I can offer are my two cents based on my experiences.

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My thoughts back then in italics….

“First off i would like to thank those that replied with comments or those that at least acknowledged the last muse i sent. One of the reasons why i started this e-mail is because i wanted to receive feedback. Another reason is because this is a good way to vent. My purpose is to spark minds. The last muse was to one reader, ‘the best one’ out of all the ones i’ve written. So it felt good to to know that someone is actually reading my philosophical thoughts. Also i want to welcome the new readers or receivers of this muse. Within the past 3 months i have come across some interesting people. So here we go….”

“My mind is full of so many ideas and concepts as far as writing goes. Not for the muse, the muse is something that i type as it comes out. The writing i mean is as far as my poems, rhymes, and stories. If anyone has ever read ‘The Prince’ by Niccolo Machiaveli, one of my ideas is to re-write that book. Update the information to the current way of life, since it was written in the medieval era i believe. But not only am i going to update the information but i want to bring it to the street level. The book is basically about the do’s and don’ts of being a Prince during the times of where the government was monarchy. It’s deep. My goal is to write this book within the next 10 years. Actually, my goal is to write this book or write and publish any book by the time i turn 30. I have alot of other things to do and writing i look at as a hobby, for now. So it’s going to take me a while to sit there and write a 200 – 300 page book. Hopefully, in 7-10 years, you’ll see my book in a Borders near you!”

Ok, so I am now 31 with no book to my name. In my journey, I let some obstacles get in my way and divert me from this goal. Some of these include having a child, buying a home, finishing my degrees, marrying, divorcing and starting all over on the financial front. I would say these are good reasons as to why my book(s) is not finished. My thoughts are there and the outline is in process. In due time.

But I will not be re-writing Machiaveli’s The Prince. My first book may be fictional and in the form of comedy/horror or maybe just horror. Bonggg!

Words of Wisdom…
“Do not try to solve all life’s problems at once — learn todread each day as it comes.”
–Donald Kaul

I still love this quote!

“My muse also proves to alot of people that don’t know me that well that there’s alot more to a person then the physical aspect and the regular ‘I’m good, how are you’ conversation. Most didn’t know that i was interested in writing a book. Most don’t know how deep my mind goes. Especially to those few new friends and associates i have invited on to this e-mail. I hope you enjoy my thoughts, opinions and general talk.”

This was not communicated clearly. I was simply stating that I tend to think deeply into things (even simple things) and enjoy sharing what my mind conceives. I do not always share these philosophies with friends that I hang out with. And that some of my friends do not know or understand this side of me- the analytical side.

I would engage you in a battle of wits but I refuse to duel with an unarmed person.


“Within the past couple years, there was a major reggaeton movement. Daddy Yankee, Tego Calderon & Don Omar brought the genre to a whole notha level by bringing it the main stream and part of US radio stations. I’m proud of my fellow Boricuas for doin they thang and showing them how we move. We’re proud, we’re strong and we gonna let the world know how we do! It has died down a bit but hopefully we form an even stronger wave this year.”

First of all, the slang and the misspellings are intentional. I do not strive to be politically correct nor to follow the rules of English grammar (hypocritical being that I am writing a book, I know). As to the point of what I wrote about, the reggaeton movement was being noticed in major U.S. cities at the time. For those that don’t know, Reggaeton is a cross between Jamaican reggae and Puerto Rican hip-hop/reggae. It was something to be proud a of at the time as the culture was subjected to more attention across the U.S. and the world in general.

Words of Wisdom…
Wisdom comes alone through suffering. – Aeschylus (525-456 BC)
–Ancient Greek soldier, playwright


“One thing that i have not spoken about in my last couple muses was the topic of love. Ew, those that know me are wondering how i had the strength to even type the word. As far as relationships, i’ve been very picky. The past 2 years i’ve been mingling and i’ve had 2 girlfriends for very brief periods of time. The reason that i am now ready to discuss ‘love’ is due to one young woman’s impact on my life. Not to say that i am in love or that i love this person YET, but she has definitely brought me hope. When a man loves a woman, does a man think that he must keep competing against other men? Do women feel or do the same? Just a question. I don’t quite think so. Though i used to. Once this one woman accepts your proposal to be your girlfriend then you assume or hope that she holds a sincere interest in you and what you have to offer. I have done things with Gorgeous that i haven’t done before or have felt feeling that i have never felt before like the anticipation of her touch, her kiss and her conversation. How do you know what to call this feeling? It’s like your heart hesitates and doesnt know what to think of it because for one, this feeling is a surprise to you and plus it hasnt been long enough of a time frame for you to be sure you feel what you feel. Does ‘Love’ have a time frame? Can you be with someone in a matter of days and feel ‘love’? Once again, not saying that i am pondering on this. This is where i get tricky. Some things i state on here can be personal and somethings can be general. When i am asking these questions it is not necessarily because it has to do with me. I once told a friend of mine that i was not ready for a relationship because i had a lot of self-improving to do. And for men who have this fear of being with one woman for the rest of their lives, why fear being with one woman who understands you, who you can talk to, who is your soulmate? I am not scared to say how i feel. I am now ready to put my heart in the hands of one special person.”

This came and went – nothing lasts forever. Nothing. Love can come and go. Marriages are strictly speculation. You take a risk not knowing where it will take you. You live and you learn as the saying goes. Some clichés are too truthful to be ignored. Thus, not that cliché lol. Although you have set backs in relationships, it is important to learn from it. It can be a depressive time if you give your heart and soul to someone, only to have it destroyed. With time, strength and support, you rebuild and become better than you ever was. Love exists but it is rare and it can diminish at any second. Relish the time you spend with someone if you feel love (whether real or not).

Words of Wisdom…
I haven’t a clue as to how my story will end. But that’s all
right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road,
you don’t conclude that the road has vanished… And how else
could we discover the stars?

The journey continues…

“American Idol….!! Taylor Hicks reppin originality and soul! This year i’m going to admit to watching this show. Put me on that show and i’ll show em true Boricua sound babaay! Nah, i only show my special talents in front of a chose few. ;)”

Taylor Hicks got that soul! I still listen to all kinds of music. Plus, I still have an amazing voice in the shower. Word up!

Words of Wisdom…
Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with;
only marry someone that you cannot live without.


I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you
hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you
lies. – Pietro Aretino

This is a big part of who I am. I’d rather be bluntly honest than deceitful.

“Now, i am going to admit that this first quarter muse of 2006 is very short with little general topics. I apologize but i am already late with the muse and i just want to get this out there. For the new readers, don’t judge me solely by this muse. For everyone else, thanks for being loyal and keep sending me your replies, comments, advice, opinions and/or suggestions. Hot Ones Inc! is still in effect! Once again, i apologize for this muse’s briefness. I promise that the next one will be longer and very thought provoking…….stay tuned!”

What he said…

“Brought to you by: B-Star aka Lito aka PabLito aka Pablo aka Baby Bandit aka Bubsy”

“God Bless! 1 Love!”

Same things applies. Thanks for taking time out to read my older thoughts as well as my retrospective comments.

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