Posts Tagged ‘General Life’

Selfishness is a natural disease that exists in most people in this world. At least it seems natural since it’s so prominent in life. I mean we are all selfish to a certain degree. It is our life and we make decisions based on what will make us happy. But like everything else, there should be a median. Unfortunately, most exceed that median.

I am a materialistic person as I enjoy the finest things in life and want to pursue that thing called happiness. I also want to believe that most of my decisions are made with my family in mind. My work is a perfect example. The job I currently perform is not the most entertaining and those around me can vouch for how I feel. Even still, I do it to the best of my ability and even look for opportunities for more work. I have bills to pay, food to put on the table and to take care of my boys. My wonderful sons, Lino and Julian, enjoy the time they spend with me. I tried to be a fun dad. Life is worth living for them alone.

At the same time, I have also fell in the pits of selfishness. Some decisions I can even say have caused me great losses in life. From this you can only learn and be aware of why you take the actions you take. View the possible outcome from different perspectives. If I chose to do this, what would this person think and how will I affect that relationship?, etc.

It’s like exercising, you get better in time. You train your mind to be a bit less selfish as others care for you and your decisions are not taking them into account. There is a median for this as well. You can’t live your life making someone else happy all while you are struggling to seek the same feeling.

In general, selfishness truly is a disease. There are so many people with families that do not take the time to mold and educate their children. It’s great to bring a child into this world and an amazing feeling to have a baby that came from you but there is work involved. The work is in ensuring they have a bright future, that they are raised to be respectful, intelligent and opinionated. It’s not just about feeding them, sending them to school and repeating the cycle day in and day out. The time you spend with them should be fun and productive. They should always be learning something from you. Having children should require someone that is unselfish as children need a lot of your time and focus.

There are other aspects and examples of selfishness that exists. I bet some of you can think of many more.

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In order to help me let things flow again, my next few muses will be excerpts from my old muses. It’s good to reflect back, see how you thought and check if anything has changed since.



“First and foremost, I am not a perfect man. We as human beings make mistakes
and learn from them. This is suppose to make us better people. This is what
makes us wiser people. Learning from your mistakes, whether its
love (relationships), career moves, daily life decisions, etc; this is part
of what I will talk about”.

This was my first entry of my muse in which I would e-mail to friends, family, associates, and those interested. The first thing I notice is how my sentences and thoughts were so sporadic. It’s like I have so much to say and yet I would only give you bits and pieces. This muse was relatively short. It’s also interesting how I acknowledge my imperfections. Even now, I understand I’m not perfect. We live in this world to try to be the best we can be. A continuous effort to better ourselves is ongoing and constant. There are still issues, problems, and situations to learn from. For if we do not learn, we become weak and unable to face the realities of our journey.

“Love will always be part of every entry because who in this world doesn’t want to be
loved? Love will always be part of my entries”.

Let’s not deny that the majority of people in this world seek true love. Some don’t necessarily wish for a fairy tale, but just to love one that loves you back unconditionally. This is a want and in some cases a need. Some will even make it their ultimate goal in life (marriage, children, everlasting happiness). Whether this is attainable, is in the eyes of the beholder. Statistics tell us that love is not an easy thing to attain. High divorce rates and complexities of changing personalities challenge the finding of true love. One person once told me, “marriage is work, you have to constantly work on it”. It sounds harsh but maybe it’s true. People change. You have to be willing to understand and adapt to each other’s changes. Understanding, listening, and truly paying attention is key. That’s my opinion at least.

“Right now, ETS (getting out the army) is on my mind. 2 1/2 months for me. I
learned a lot from this and met some good people but I think it is time to
go. This isn’t for me”.

Ok, this is a good one. Since I joined the Army, I knew it wasn’t for me. In the beginning I was young and therefore angry that I made the decision to join. Then I decided to make the best out of it. I served my country and did the tasks I was asked to perform. Yes, maybe I was disgruntled here and there, but at the end of the day, it was another learning experience. Whatever you go through in life – work, relationship, hobbies – you must learn from each and every experience. After all was said and done, I was proud to have served. I met some great people and some are friends to this day. And even though I know the Army is not for me, I respect those that continue to serve and protect our country.

“People tell me one thing and don’t keep to their word. I mean I have broken my word before but these people are really fronting. Person A says he feels a certain way about Person B and I tell Person B because I care for that person but Person B doesn’t care what I say and Person A is acting like he didn’t say anything. Anyway, basically, it is hard to trust nowadays. You can never automatically consider anyone a friend. Get to know them first, see if they are there through thick n thin and then determine. I will always be there for those I love”.

I have no idea what situation I was talking about now. All I know is that I’ve always had trust issues. Why not? Trust is such a rare virtue. Honest is such a rare virtue. I consider a friend someone who is honest with you, someone who has proven to you that they can be trusted in one way or another. A friend will not tell you what you want to hear but will tell you the truth. They will be there through thick and thin. This still remains true with me today. This is why I am very selective with who I call a “friend”.

It’s interesting to look at this muse from 2004 when I was only 20 years old. Minus the books I’ve read, I had no college education and the only life experience I had was growing up in Paterson and my 3 years in the military. Sometimes it’s good to look back and see how some of your main ideals are kept while others have changed.

Love, Peace and Empanada Grease,

PabLito  aka “Lito”, “Bubsy”, “B Star”, “The Man With The Master Plan”

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