Archive for the ‘General Life’ Category

Background: In my journey as a new-found bachelor these past 10 months, I have met many people. Mostly women but also interesting people in general. While cleansing the palate with some fine spirits at a local pub, I’ve come across a unique gentleman by the name of Frank Cario Sr. Frank is 71 years old. He is a New Yawk Italian of the old-school type, mannerisms and all. Frank has much to say and you can’t help it but to listen intently as there are things you can learn from the man. His wisdom runs deep. It happens to be that Frank writes his own muses. After explaining his thoughts, he passed along a couple of his writings to me. Being that Frank is not internet savvy, I told him I would share them via my own online muse. This section will be called “Frank’s Corner”.

My Soul, My Heart, My Life !


When I saw the shoes that I was in, they were sufficient.


I felt Good !


I felt Happy !


I felt Complete !


I felt Adequate !


I felt Loved like Never Before !


It took all my life to see this blessing, and for this I am completely thankful.


My Soul sings out loud, in the presence of the Lord !


Frank Cario Sr.

August 14, 2012

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July 10, 2012

On July 10 of this year (2012) I will be turning the big 3-0. I will have hit a significant landmark. 30 is possibly half my lifetime minus any unforeseen death and assuming I keep in shape. Being that I am becoming old and experienced, I figured I’d discuss what I have learned so far in my journey. I wouldn’t be much of a man if I don’t analyze my past, admit my mistakes and progress towards being a better person on all aspects.

In general, life is tough. I recall growing up in Paterson, NJ and moving to DE as later on I realized how tough it was growing up in NJ versus in DE. Now I see that although my upbringing was tough and filled with intense imagery and unbelievable tales, it was rather simple overcoming the streets compared to what I would face later on.

 I was in the Army from 2000-2004. My most significant experience there was traveling to Kosovo, Bulgaria, Afghanistan and Turkey. I also met a few great people who I still keep in contact with. I learned about betrayal on a different level. It’s one thing when as a kid your friends aren’t there to back you up in conflicts but it’s another when you love someone who cheats on you. Or at least, you thought it was love at the time.

That’s another lesson learned. Differentiating lust from love. Somethings you learn and somethings you think you’ve learned. I believe I can distinguish the two now.

The term “work” holds more weight now as it did when I was coming out of highschool. I’m a middle-income earner but I do have some monetary accomplishments in my home, car, and some material possessions. Although I don’t own a BMW, some of my friends think I do ok. They don’t know the amount of debt I have, lol. I acknowledge my small possessions but I have bigger aspirations financially. The point is that all this stuff didn’t appear at my door. I worked hard. I sought employment after the Army and moved my way up. I pursued and continue to pursue my education. None of this was easy. It took “work”. And it’s going to take more work to have a mansion, Bentleys, buy Lino and Julian race cars, etc. It’s like I said, the term “work” has more value. Same can be said in a relationship or marriage. If both sides aren’t willing to work, then why bother making the commitment.

I’ve fallen in love so I know what that’s about. Although it didn’t work out, I don’t regret one second of it.

I am a father. A proud father of two sons Julian (7) and Jaiden Lino (3). Each with their unique personalities, strengths and weaknesses. It’s up to me to do my best to mold them into strong, educated and humble individuals. In fatherhood, there will always be something to learn. Some lessons in life are everlasting courses.

My values mean a lot to me. To me, the following values are of the utmost importance in life: honesty, trust, loyalty.

In a relationship, communication is vital. Mutual understanding is vital. You must understand each other as the relationship changes (dating to serious to marriage, family, etc) because everything grows. Nothing stays the same. Genuine care and attention is also vital.

What else? ……..

The love I have to give is immense. I love until it hurts. My mother, sons and family I hold very dear to me. The same goes for anyone else around me that I care about. I can be a best friend and I can be a worst enemy.

Anyone is capable of anything. If someone tells you one day they’re going to be a millionaire, it might turn out to be true. The same thing goes in any other aspect. Example: Forever may not be forever.

I realize that there is too much to write in one post about my life’s lesson in 30 years, lol (laughing out loud). I promise to continue to share my thoughts, life’s lessons, etc through this site, which I call my “muse”.

Finally, I look forward to turning 30 and celebrating my accomplishments as well as work on my weaknesses.

We live to be better people and should constantly work on becoming so. I live to progress and not go backwards or to stay in the same realm as an individual.

Thanks for reading…………….

Pablo “Lito” Alva Jr. aka The Man With The Master Plan aka B Star aka The General


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In due time, physical pain heals as does pain of the emotional kind. In general, time heals all wounds. Some emotional pain one can never forget but you learn to live with it as time goes on. It may take awhile, but its eventual. In order to move forward from any set-back in life, you have to re-examine yourself and look at areas where you can strengthen and become better. These areas include physical fitness, education, and personality adjustments or the way you carry yourself. By focusing on bettering yourself, not only do you improve on all aspects, but it also helps time go by as your wounds are healing. If you do nothing, time will move slow and thus, making it difficult to overcome the pain.

Personally, I took a moment to address my needs. I hit the gym with fierce determination. I’m in the final weeks of obtaining my bachelor’s degree. My financial drive is in high gear. The role of father I will continue to take seriously as I enjoy the time I spend with my boys and ensure I am raising them to be strong and educated men. Also, I address my imperfections and work on ways to become a better man. The momentum is tremendous and I plan on riding this wave for a long time and juggarnaut through any obstacles that come my way.

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Skinny Jean Epidemic


I am a late 80s and 90s baby. As a youth, I wore baggy jeans and Timberlands. Today, I still wear jeans and Tims. Although my jeans aren’t as baggy, my style hasn’t changed much. For the most part, I have kept a simple taste in clothing. I mean from time to time I like to test out some new kind of style like skull designs or other colors and designs that stand out. Not to say that I always dress boring as I sometimes dress to impress at parties or to look extra special for the lady. But mostly, my style is jeans and a t-shirt or sweat pants and t-shirt in the winter time. And in the last few years of my life, I’ve worn casual pants, button up shirts and ties for work as well as for special occasions. I don’t have much that is too colorful or full of crazy designs. I wear Timberlands all of the time though. Shoes, sneakers, boots all Timberlands minus one pair of shoes and one pair of Jordans that I have. So that’s me in a nutshell. I don’t need to stand out fashionably since I rely on my personality to unveil my uniqueness.

Fashion itself is a constant change and the majority follow what’s new and what someone makes popular. Unfortunately, not all new fashion is good fashion. I am going to share my opinion on a new fashion epidemic that’s spreading and that I urge we take seriously and eliminate. Men wearing skinny jeans!

Yes, this is a complaint, a gripe and a movement to end a bit of foolishness. First of all, skinny jeans are basically tight jeans that were meant for women. These jeans have a level of comfort since they are and have been in fashion for the female gender for so long. They were meant to show a woman’s curves and let them express themselves confidently. Point blank – these jeans were meant for a woman!

Why in the world would a grown man want to wear these jeans? Do they want to show their curves like how a woman does when they wear them? I am puzzled with how this craze came to be. It must have been one immensely cocky and confident person that started it. Maybe it was a celebrity. We all know that whatever language or dress code they invent becomes popular no matter how ridiculous it is. So one man decided to wear his sisters or girlfriends jeans. Maybe it was a bet. He went out, wore the jeans proudly and confidently. A bold person can go a long way as they can manipulate others to follow their lead. And boom – skinny jeans for men.

I mean as a  man, I would think that I would need circulation down there. No wonder most of these guys walk funny. Now although I’ve stated that I’ve worn baggy jeans as a youth, I was never a fan of making my jeans sag. It just felt uncomfortable. So imagine a man wearing skinny jeans and sagging at the same time. Unbearable to watch. It’s just crazy.

This is not limited to urban areas either. It’s an epidemic. It’s everywhere! Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m getting old and getting out of touch with the streets. I’m 29 going on 30 and it’s hard to keep up. It just doesn’t make any sense! A product that was made for a woman and it becomes popular amongst men!

Yes, we have seen clothing meant for  men being worn by women. Football jerseys, t-shirts and boxers are some of them. I’m ok with that. But with these skinny jeans, it’s just out of control. I mean they were meant to show a woman’s curves! What curves would any man want to show?

This has to end. There has to be another cool style of jeans that don’t look like your going to pass out from lack of circulation. Some celebrity or important person somewhere, please put on some relaxed jeans instead of the circulation stoppers. And do me a favor and jump into some nice Tims while you’re at it! Bring them back into style like it should be.

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